During the summer of 1998 I began to worry about how I was going to feel about entering a new school. Sherwood High School was so different compared to Farquhar Middle. It is almost 3 times larger than Farquhar Middle. It felt odd to be at the summer orientation at Sherwood. I felt alone and confused about where I should be and how I would get there. The school seemed to be this huge maze, with no way out. I would walk very slowly and was very cautious when I turned a corner. All the hallways looked the same and the classrooms were all identical. There were lockers in every hall and they were all the same. There were so many kids pushing past you and no one around to help. The turmoil of wanting to be grown up while feeling so lost left me with an awkward and uncomfortable feeling. I dreaded the first day of school and was apprehensive when I stepped up into the bus that September morning.
             The atmosphere seems to change in a new school. I am exposed to things that were foreign to me in middle school such as sex, and drugs. At first I felt unwelcome in the new school, as it seemed like I couldn't befriend anyone. I knew if I was not careful I would run into trouble with the older kids who saw me as inferior. I was introduced to things that left me feeling confused and felt trapped when asked about things I wasn't familiar with. As a freshman, I was insecure about asking anyone for help in finding my way around. I thought no one would care or listen so I went through my freshman year avoiding everyone bigger then me instead of trying to make friends with him. I felt alienated from the older classmen since they would totally ignore me. It left me feeling downcast and a little homesick. I couldn't wait until the day was over so I could return my safe haven. My attitude toward school became very negative and it was difficult for me to get up in the mornings and go to school.
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