I constantly ponder upon everything. I sit in class and attempt to pay attention, but I'm unsuccessful in my search for restraint. When it is even remotely possible for me to construct a thought that's more provoking than the usual visual of the dramas parading through my life, I feel as though there is not point to the matter, and then begin to again absorb the same thoughts into my soul. Although my mind and heart are not consensual on the matters, and I know that if something doesn't change soon I will surely lose it completely, I find that these thoughts won't cease. And even though it is quite apparent that these behaviors are completely illogical, within my mind at least, I find that there is no way for them to be stopped. If I want to sleep, if I want to dream, I find that I can't, and then when I know I need to be aware of what's going on, when I know I need to be actively participating in something, I begin to drift off into a slumber. The cycle seems to never end. Lack of rest, lack of emotional stableness, lack of thought-thought of anything school related, at least-it just never seems to end. All day that pain, that emptiness, it stays with me. The idea that so many people's lives, including mine, have been turned completely upside down because an ignorant person decided to consume too many alcoholic beverages, its haunting to me. That was the person that deserved to die. Not someone innocent, someone just trying to drive home. Why must the world do things like this? Why must it be so unfair? And then the anger, such anger I behold. I sit in my room, throwing things around, memories broken. My best friend lost the one person he could tell everything. The one person he could trust. Now he's alone, alone in the world, after so much had already happened to the poor child. And then someone dares to make fun of him. How could anyone possibly be so insensitive? So now I...