ense fears of abandonment are not uncommon. In the widely
             cited California Children of Divorce study, Judith Wallerstein and Joan Kelly
             found that one-half of the children they studied were intensely afraid of being
             abandoned by their fathers, while one-third feared abandonment by their
             mothers. A few even feared they would be placed in foster homes. Not
             suprisingly, children's self-esteem frequently takes a plunge after divorce.
             The majority of children are intensely sad and feel a deep sense of loss -
             of their family, their security, even their daily routines and family traditions (93).
             Many children have little control over their tears. Here is how a fourteen-year-old
             girl described how she felt when her parents were divorcing:
             "The divorce really affected me emotionally. I just felt bad
             all the time, I used to cry a lot, and when I wasn't crying, I
             would feel like crying.... it was just a terrible time in my life"
             Anger, also, is a fairly common reaction among children going through a
             divorce. Many feel betrayed by the very people they have trusted to protect and
             care for them. They feel no one is considering their needs, and they feel
             powerless to change the situation that is disrupting their lives. Some children
             hide their anger, fearing it will further upset or alienate their parents. Others
             have explosive outbursts. While some act out their anger in temper tantrum,
             noncompliance, aggressiveness. destructiveness, rebelliousness, and
             Some youngsters, especially younger ones, are haunted by gnawing
             feelings that they are responsible for the divorce (91). Some will remember
             overhearing fights concerning them, while others will remember their parents'
             upset over their fights with their siblings. Some, even, will turn into model
             children, hoping they can undo the damage they think they have done. One child
             confessed the following the her mother years ...